Monday, April 30, 2012

Weary in Wisconsin

We have had too many sleepless nights in the Pugh household lately.  I blame all of it on Elise...which probably comes back to me for not sleep training her properly.  Elise is 16 months old as of yesterday and still  wakes up at least THREE times a night!!!!  She has had nights in her life where she hasn't woken up, but those are few and far between.  Here's probably why she still does it:

- I still nurse her if she gets up.  Not every time, but sometimes.  Especially if I have already been up twice with her and all I want to do is get in and out of there as fast as I can. The best way to do that is to nurse her.  She is only nursing two or three times in a 24 hour time span and I know- I just need to stop.  Gotta cut the cord.  I think the reason I still do it is because when she wakes up at 3am that is what quickly gets her back down.  But I'm sure when I stop she will stop waking up as much. 

-I feel bad sleep training her with our current situation.  I feel bad for our downstairs neighbor who I'm positive can hear our daughter scream at the top of her lungs at 2:21am.  Maybe I should buy some earplugs for Zack and I as well as the two boys that live below us. I say positive that they can hear us because I can hear them open their closet they must be able to hear us!

-Another situation is Zack studying.  Sometimes Elise will be having good sleeping nights, but more often than not she will be having a bad week when Zack is studying for finals.  When he has already been up all hours of the night studying I feel bad letting my daughter cry it out for an hour- which she will cry for at least an hour if we do let her CIO.

-I think she has learned that we are the only ones who can soothe her back to sleep when she wakes up from tossing and turning.  As soon as we hear her and walk in she is always standing up in her crib ready to be picked up.  It doesn't matter if we give her a dolly, put her binky back in- those do nothing.  She screams more if she sees us and we don't pick her up.  Her pediatrician told me to just go in and give her a binky and rub her back, and I laughed.  That would NOT fly with Elise.  That would only add to her rage.

I hate sleep training with all of my heart.  I feel bad for Elise, it keeps me up, we all have a miserable day the days that follow and it never seems to stick!  We have sleep trained her at least 3 other times but it never seems to really teach her to go to bed, and stay there. $100 to anyone who is willing to take Elise and bedtime and train her ;)  I'm running out of patience.  Last night when she woke up for the umpteenth time I walked in her room and actually slammed the door I was that mad!!  Don't worry once I pick her up I am very gentle towards her, but still angry ever.  Ahhhh...what to do?!  I can't take much more of this.
Story of my life.


Sarah Brunson said...

Oh Emily. I'm so sorry. I'm sure you have tried everything, but here is my thoughts, with Jane I just spaced out her feedings. She started eating every 3 hours. Once she gave me a 4 hour stretch at night I would give her the binky if she woke up before 4 hours. Once she did 5 I did the same. I just tried to not let her do shorter than I knew she was capable of while letting her have the lead by waiting for her to sleep longer. But I know Elise is much older and has habits formed already. On a blog I sometimes check the mom was having this problem and had success using But you are the mom, you know Elise and what she can handle, so do what makes BOTH of you happiest.

Chad and Lacy Johnson said...

Honestly I wish there was an easy solution! As soon as I started spacing out Eli's night feedings he started gradually sleeping longer and longer. And even now, if I go through periods of going in when he cries out at night, he will start forming habits and will start waking up in the middle of the night again just to have me come tuck him in, give him his lovie back, etc. So for the me the only solution is to let him cry and he gets used to it and eventually won't wake up in the middle of the night unless he has an issue... scared, etc. But every kid is different and I totally understand you not wanting to let Elise cry! It's so dang hard! I feel for ya, and will more than likely be right there with ya in a little bit. The other option is telling your neighbors and apologizing beforehand and giving them earplugs! ;) Lol! Good luck!

Lindzee said...

We used/are using Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I say are using because sleep training is a constant concern for us too. Anyway we've had pretty good success using that method. In the beginning it killed me to let them cry at all but the older they get the more inclined I am to let them cry. :-) But for us it's a matter of survival because when they start being difficult it is impossible to get them down alone. So my v biggest advice is get it under control before there's another one, whenever that is. The only thing worse than one kid that won't sleep is two, and sleep training two kids at once is a nightmare. Good luck!

erinmalia said...

Don't you wish Dr. Spock lived next door and you can just run over and ask? Seriously. This is one of the hardest things with babies. I wish I had some great advice, but sadly, I don't. I can say that when we finally decided to let Ollie cry at nights that it lasted only a couple of nights and then it was over. So yes, it might be miserable for a couple and man, those crying times seem endless (bring your kindle or ipad to bed and start playing to get your mind off it), but hopefully they'll end. and i second the suggestion about cookies for downstairs neighbors.

emily said...

i loved the healthy habit book, too.

but in short, you just need to let her cry it out - is that what you have done? some people think it's torture. maybe i'm just cruel. but my kids (yes all 4) sleep great - in their own beds, falling asleep completely on their own. 100% worth it in my opinion. i've never had a baby cry for more than 3 nights. the first night is the hardest and then it gets significantly better each night. case in point: miles, who cried the most, cried over an hour the first nite. 20 minutes (if that) the 2nd nite. less than 5 the 3rd.

GOOD LUCK. but you do need to do something for your sake and elise's! :)

Jewls said...

So sorry Em! I totally hear you on the no sleep thing though. Z slept like a champ from the get-go but Ty wakes up every two hours... let us know what you figure out, I'm sure it will be of use in the future!

Celeste Louise said...

I just want to say that I feel for you! Days become drudgery when you are exhausted all the time. Kids are hard. Also, its hard because what works for one kid doesn't necessarily work for another. Hang in there girl! I wish I had any words of wisdom, but you are a great mom and a smart woman so let us know what ends up working =)

Rachel said...

Who knew sleep was such a difficult thing to figure out? I feel for you. Jillian has just started (within the last few weeks) to consistently sleep through the night.

I kind of think that kids just have to figure it out on their own- some kids figure out sleeping at 2 months (lucky, lucky parents) and some just take longer.

I stopped feeding Jilly during the night at 12 months and after that when she cried I would pick her up and give her a hug, then make sure she had her pacifier and blankie and leave. I did this A LOT. But this made me feel better because she knew I cared about her, but that she was supposed to be in her bed asleep. Sometimes that would be enough and she'd go back to sleep, sometimes she'd scream and I'd go back in in like 20 minutes and do it again (and again and again.) Really, I used this method for like 3 months before she finally figured it out.

I hope you find something that works for y'all! Just think- in about 15 years we'll be asking how on earth to get them to wake up!

Niederfam said...

Ummm the picture TOTALLY makes me laugh.....and I won't say/type what you already KNOW. GOOD LUCK my dear. I feel for you, I REALLY REALLY do. ;)